Studentism #16: MySpace

Student (pensively): "Ms. Beck.... what was MySpace like?"

I just burst out into laughter. That made me feel old!

Studentism #15

"I'm glad you have the blinds down. The darkness heals me and shields me. I'm sure Apollo has something out for me. The sun....intensifies on me. I feel like an ant under a magnifying glass." 

[one of my students who is addicted to reading and being dramatic and all other kinds of wonderfulness]

thanks for tolerating us

My birthday was on Monday, and one of my students made this cake for me. Hilarious. Perfect. Precious. 

Current Stats:
Temperature: -18
Wind Speed: NE 13 mph
Wind Chill -41

Sunrise: none

Sunset: none

Studentism #13 | presentate

"I'll be the last one to presentate, okay?"

Studentism #12

A couple of funny things....

"I love my funniness."

and...

"Who's Pearl Harbor?"

Studentism #11 | urinal, urine, yearn

During a vocab game yesterday...
Me: "To desire, to long for, to want"
Student: "URINAL!"
Me: "Ummm, not exactly..."
Student: "URINE!"

Me: "Closer..."
Student: "YEARN!"
Me: "Ding! Ding! Ding! That is correct."

Studentism #10 | womanly voice

Student Who's Not in My Class: "Wow, this is the first time I've heard your voice before."
Me: "Oh, well, yep, this is my voice."
Student: "I thought it would be more womanly."
Me: "...... Gee, thanks."

Studentism #9 | what's cool

Me: So, this is how you can check your grades online... [shows student]. Pretty cool, huh?
Student: No.
Me: No? Sure it is. You have an app to check your grades. That's cool.
Student: No, discovering planets is cool.

The bar is set high.

Studentism #8 | "a very small place my heart"

Me: "*Joe, you gonna be in the Battle of the Books?"
Joe: "No."
Me: "Please! It would make me so happy."
Joe: "But what about my happiness?"
Me: "Fine then..."
Joe: "Don't be sad. You have a special place in my heart. It's just that it's a very small place."

This is a former student of mine, quite literally addicted to reading and witticisms.

*name changed

Studentism #7 | Tongan Snoring

Today I gave a lesson about hyperbole, and one of the examples I gave was "He snores louder than a freight train."

One of my Tongan students said, "Man, that's like every Tongan house."

Love it.

Not to stereotype, but most of the Tongans in Barrow are big, tall, wide, and extremely happy.

Studentism #6 | teacher's pet

I asked Student A to do something for me and...

Student B: "He is teacher's pet!" 

Student A: "I wouldn't mind being teacher's pet if you fed me regularly. I require two burgers, a sandwich, and three Pepsis."

These kids are so funny! I laugh a lot as a 9th-grade teacher. 

Studentism #5: scoot farther, aka indenting

Studentism #4: I want to marry a farm boy.

A student during the Battle of the Books party regarding "The Princess Bride": "I want to marry a farm boy.......[embarrassment]...... I jokes. I don't even like veggies."

Studentism #3

"Your hair looks like somebody chopped off a dog's tail."

Thanks, kid. Thanks.

Studentism #1

I think I am going to start a themed post called Studentisms. They will include conversations that I hear in the classroom. Enjoy!

Student: Ms. Beck, I think I broke your SmartBoard!
Me: Okay, you owe the school $5,000.
Student: No problem. I got ten G at home.

Explanation: All Native Alaskans who are shareholders in ASRC (Arctic Slope Regional Corporation) received a dividend check of $10,000 this past December.

This is certainly something you wouldn't hear in the Lower 48.