Me: So, this is how you can check your grades online... [shows student]. Pretty cool, huh? Student: No.
Me: No? Sure it is. You have an app to check your grades. That's cool.
Student: No, discovering planets is cool.
Me: "*Joe, you gonna be in the Battle of the Books?"
Joe: "No."
Me: "Please! It would make me so happy."
Joe: "But what about my happiness?"
Me: "Fine then..."
Joe: "Don't be sad. You have a special place in my heart. It's just that it's a very small place."
This is a former student of mine, quite literally addicted to reading and witticisms.